Being healthy is my struggle

UGHHHHHHHH, I feel like I’m loosing and gaining the same damn 5 pounds every other week. Am I over weight? Yes. If we were passing each other on the street would you say “oh man that woman is large” probably not. Im a size 14 and can squeeze into a 12 if I really tried. That is the size of most women in the world now a days right? I have no idea.

4 years ago a few of my friends and I started going to the gym regularly and I was able to loose a lot of weight. Probably between 45 and 50 lb (go me!). I don’t really know what my highest weight was but when I started weighing myself I was at 216 lb. Summer 2013 I was around 206 I think. From there I was able to get down to 170! which to me I was really happy about and was on the right track to loosing a lot more. Then, duh duh duhhhhh……. I started school, and found myself in a relation ship. Pretty much what everyone thinks will happen happened. I gained weight. BUT! I only gained about 10-13 lb, which doesn’t look like a lot to an out sider, but to me isn’t fun. Thankfully I have stayed in that 180-185 weight bracket for about 3 years or so. Which is where I’m at now and am hating!!!!!!

Im sure for a lot of people they would love to be 180-185, I know! I was one of those people myself. When I finally got down to 185 in the middle of summer 2013 I was happy and thought id be happy here if I was to be this weight for ever. Boy was I wrong. I felt more confident the less I weighed. I was able to do a lot more, and I didn’t have to worry about possible getting back in the 200’s, which is my fear now. Thats pretty much what it boils down too with me. The less I weigh obviously I feel a lot better about myself and what I’m able to do on a physician level. But I’m also less afraid that Ill go back into the person I was before weighing more than 200lb. I would go out too eat weekly and was just unhappy most of the time.

My problem now is that I am not working out on a consistent basis (although I do yoga twice a week). I want to start going to the gym also, more consistently. The gym is around the corner from work, so its not as if I have an excuse that its too far and out of the way, because it isn’t. I just need to force myself to go! When I do go, I’ve been going on the elliptical or treadmill and doing 20-30 min on there and then saying “ok, I’m done. good job me for doing something.” NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I want to be that person again who after cardio goes and does weights. Id say 2 out of the 5 times I do go to the gym Ill do weights. I want it to be 5 out of the 5 times I go to the gym I do weights. My plan I think will be go to the gym Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, then Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I do yoga. So today is gym day. I do plan on going, I have a gym buddy and everything!

FOOD! This is probably my main problem. I LOVE FOOD! But than again who doesn’t. I find that I’m healthy during the week and then come the weekend all bets are off. I go and eat more than I know I should. my boyfriend Josh and I will go out for coffee and breakfast on Sundays and then thats all we will eat until dinner and then just eat all the things. We will also get pre-made dinners for the weekend making meaning not so healthy as I have been during the week. This is what I need to stop doing. Buying pre-made things for dinner or any meal during the weekend. Also I think I need to back off on the carbs a bit. My friend told me the reason why I’m so bloated is probably because of all the carbs I have been eating. So I’ve cut it down and I have definitely felt a difference and I won’t be bloated. Then of course comes the weekend and ill eat bread and all the carbs and boom, the dreaded bloat comes back. Also I have been known to have a few squares or chocolate before been eeekkkkk!!!!! thankfully I haven’t had chocolate in my house for around 2 weeks, not going to lie pretty proud of myself about that one.

I think thats pretty much it for me today. My struggle right now is real. Hopefully this post helps me out and I’m able to add a little self control into my life. Maybe Ill come back every few days and keep myself accountable for how healthy I’m being, and Ill tell you if I’ve had a binge day. Because lord knows I do. Im also going to a beer festival on Sunday ( Josh won tickets too it) great more carbs. But one does not say no to free beer.

Ok, now I’m going. Thanks for listening, who ever you are. Leave a message of support, hopefully ill be able to get down to 170 soon. Thats my goal, and Ill make a new one from there. Slow and steady wins the race right?

 

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